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Confirmation Received: Football IS dead

Yes I’m afraid confirmation has now been received that football really IS dead. It came in an unusual form, but it is indisputable.

Tony Pulis – Manager of the Month. I’ll say that again. Tony Pulis, you know, the Stoke City manager, has been named as the Championship’s Manager of the Month for February.

Putting aside for one minute the fact that no 50 year-old man should be seen permanently wearing a baseball cap (I don’t care if you’re going bald or not, it’s just not cricket), how did that happen?

If you look at the facts it’s actually fairly clear. Stoke won their first five matches in February (before it all went a bit wrong against Preston) and are now, incredibly, sitting atop the Championship table.

Stoke don’t actually play football though, so I’m sure if we look at the rules we’ll find some sort of loophole there that enabled this to sneak through.

Part of me would actually quite like them to go up this season, if for no other reason than to find out if it is possible for anyone to embarrass themselves in the Premier League more than sorry old Derby have managed to this year.

A touch of bitterness? Would I swap places with a Stoke fan right now? If it meant playing the sort of football that requires some serious neck support then no, not on your nelly.

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